Bullying and self esteem are tied to one another. In other
words you can’t have one without the other. More accurately bullying and low
self esteem go together. Anyone with good, great or even high self esteem would
not attract a bully. Bullies “prey” on people with low self esteem because they
are easier to dominate and less likely to stand up for themselves.
Bullies themselves have low self esteem and are acting out their anger on others. They don’t take any responsibility for themselves or their actions. In a way they think that being angry and hurtful towards others will make them feel better about themselves. It doesn’t. It just feeds their egos.
Webster’s Dictionary defines a bully as “one who hurts or browbeats one who is weaker”. To browbeat is defined as “to intimidate with harsh, stern looks and talk.”
As you can see bullying and self esteem particularly low self esteem are linked to one another.
If you work on your self esteem and can get it to good, great and even high self esteem would be the best solution to being bullied. When you do this your outer world must reflect your inner world. Your outer world is made up of people, places and things. Your inner world is made up of thoughts, feelings and your spiritual self.
When you do the work to increase your self esteem to feel better about yourself (your inner world) then your outer world must reflect that back to you in the form of a happier more fulfilling set of circumstances.
The outer world always reflects back to you the inner world. Feel great about yourself and watch your world reflect that back to you.
This is one of the great secrets of our world. The degree to which we genuinely, honestly think and feel good to great about ourselves determines how successful and happy we will be in our life. The outer always reflects back to us the inner.
If you have a school age child who is being bullied, do the obvious first. Alert the “authorities”- Teacher and Principal of the incident. Secondly, work on your child’s self esteem.
Please see affirmation posters for a fun, creative exercise to help your child focus on what he or she really wants in life at this stage of their development.
Please also see active listening, using I messages and passive listening for great and very powerful communication tools designed to teach your child and yourself, that feelings are important, the power of being emotionally validated, self responsibility and the creativity of a win win approach to life.
If you are being bullied in a work setting, try not to react to the person bullying you, document the situation and provide this information and any witnesses to your supervisor.
Don’t worry about any backlash. If the bullying stops and starts again at a later date, repeat the process outlined above. This is a work setting. Be a responsible adult and take responsibility for your situation. Just because another person is not acting like an adult doesn’t mean you should not act like one too.
A real life friend of mine was recently being bullied at work. I suggested to her that rather than react or want to retaliate and get even, she document the incidents, gather witnesses if any and report it to her supervisor. She did, the person doing the bullying was called in for a meeting and the bullying stopped.
If you are being bullied in a personal setting, remove yourself from the situation and work on raising your self esteem.
Please see self esteem exercises for a very powerful, simple exercise to help you take responsibility for yourself and your life.
Also, please see self esteem affirmations, to learn how to change a negative mindset into a positive one.
You can’t change what’s in your outer world first, (made up of people, places and things) and expect your inner world (made up of our thoughts, feelings and spiritual self) to reflect that change. It’s the other way around. Make changes to your inner world and your outer world MUST reflect those changes made, in the form of a happier, more satisfying set of circumstances.
Bullying and self esteem are interchangeable. Increase self esteem and the bullying stops. Why? Because when you feel good about yourself you naturally attract a good set of circumstances to you.
When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change! My how you have changed, since I’ve changed!