Perfectionism To Being Imperfect. A Worthwhile Goal!
Perfectionism is the need to do everything perfectly. This puts enormous pressure on ourselves to not make any mistakes. This is of course is near impossible to do so we are in a constant state of always feeling under pressure.
This also affects our self esteem because the more mistakes that are made, the greater the negative impact on one's feeling worthwhile.
I remember an astrologer friend of mine told me a story about a tribe of Mexican Indians who were silver sculptors. Once they finished an artwork they purposely made a dent in the piece, symbolizing that nothing is perfect.
How To Overcome Perfectionism!
- Give ourselves permission to make mistakes.
- Realize making mistakes is part of being human. Also realize trying not to make any mistakes, is inhuman and unnecessary.
- Do self esteem affirmations to help change one’s thinking to being more real.
Give Ourselves Permission To Make Mistakes!
- This is the first step in self change. If we don’t give ourselves permission nothing changes and the behaviors stay the same. Sometimes it’s just baby steps. With baby steps we can more easily manage the self changes rather than jumping right in and trying to overhaul everything.
Realize Making Mistakes Is Part Of Being Human
- This is an important realization. Without this realization our tendency is to try to be superhuman. Sometimes we get attention from others, because we seldom if ever makes mistakes. Other people count on us and we feel good about this. However the attention is coming our way, because of our perfectionist tendencies, rather than for just being who we are.
Do Self Esteem Affirmations
- Self esteem affirmations are a powerful tool for self change.
Example: I Dave now allow myself to make mistakes and they don’t mean anything about me.
This affirmation is very powerful because I am not only giving myself permission to make mistakes, I am acknowledging they don’t mean any thing about me. Being a perfectionist, making a mistake definitely means something about me. It usually means I am not okay, there is something wrong with me, I am not perfect.
In this example write the self esteem affirmation on the left side of the paper, and write an immediate response on the right. This response is the first thought that comes into one’s head, and it tends to be a negative one. That’s okay.
Write out the self esteem affirmation 30 times a day, with the response on the right. Notice if there any responses that show up more than once after a few days.
If so, take that response, and turn it into a positive self esteem affirmation. Now write this new self esteem affirmation, 30 times a day, with responses on the right.
Keep doing this process until the written responses are more neutral than negative. This is an important time because self change is actually happening. The perfectionism belief system, is now being changed to one that is more human and real. See self esteem affirmations.
Perfectionism can be changed. It is safe and very human to make mistakes. It does not mean anything bad about us at all. On the contrary, it just means we are human.
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