When we are experiencing low self worth, we feel that something is wrong with us. It’s not okay to be who we are, something is not right and we experience low self esteem.
We don’t feel worthy of ourselves or sometimes other people and situations.
We are all born with an innate sense of self worth. We all have it as babies. What happens? Why do we now feel low self worth as adults?
Infant dependency needs are needs we can’t get met on our own and must rely on our parents to help get these needs met. Infant dependency needs are needs at the beginning of life from birth to 9 months old and are part of the critical childhood development stages.
The remaining stages being toddler, preschool and school age.
1). Physical needs:
Shelter, food, protection and the changing of diapers.
2). Emotional Needs:
Infants need unconditional love and warmth. They need to bond to their parents, particularly their mother. If the mother is there for the child, in every sense of that word, then the child bonded to the mother. If the bonding is built on mutual respect and valuing, it forms the blueprint out of which new relationships can be created.
The child then feels: I have hope. I can just be. I can trust you. I can depend on you. I am you. (Part of the baby, Mother bonding).
As adults with our infancy needs met, we naturally trust ourselves to get our basic needs met and it is easy to form healthy relationships.
The bond between infant and mother is the foundation for all future relationships. If the bond is not there to whatever degree, then the infant grows up believing he or she has no right to depend on anyone.
This can develop into pathological relationships
with food, drugs, sex, work and so on because the adult is now looking for some
external substance to get this need met.
It is not until one does the
inner work that any permanent change can happen. Inner work basically means
going within and doing emotional and mental exercises to deal with the loss of
these dependency needs.
Low self worth comes from not
getting our infant dependent needs met. In order to feel worthy again, we must
do the inner work, to heal the past and increase our self esteem.